Unintentional
by norikozombie
Summary: Falling for each other was unintentional. Sort of a MelloxNear drabble... I don't know what you'd call it :S


This is the first story that I've published on the site - so far. I hope it's readable.

It's from Mello's POV.. it's more about how he feels rather than an actual story..

* * *

No, I can't feel like this.

Because feeling like this always creates an irritating struggle to stop my heart from exploding. The control I knew I possessed over you, and even over myself seems to have been, in the best sense, stolen by you. But there you sit, delicate fingers playing with your usual puzzle, so oblivious to me, and my feelings, and so absorbed with your own world that I feel as though I am completely losing myself in you. I feel drawn in the most bizarre and illogical ways, my mind becomes ineffectual and my entire world could crumble to pieces if you simple told it to.

But then sometimes, a pang of jealousy causes all those feelings to disappear. My stomach ruptures with flames and, although I despise you, my obsession with you seems to heighten.

You call my name, knowing that I haven't been able to take my eyes away from you, a smirk spreads across your pasty face. You've begun to understand what effect you have on me and decide to say my name again, just to cause shivers to run up my spine.

I manage to shoot a glare at you before turning on my heel to run away. A temporary escape from the poison that you drive within me - It sticks like a web; infecting every cell of the body with your sickening presence. You are more attractive than you realise.

You know straight away where I have disappeared to... but you don't understand that you shouldn't follow.

You could have anything. Anything you could possible want! So why chase after me? Something you intoxicate, something you don't need. When I yelled at you, completely infuriated, to ask you this question, all I received was a vacant stare. An expression so empty and so weary that I had to stop myself from reaching out and checking your pulse. Then, when you finally seemed to recompose yourself, my heart skipped a beat at the sound of your next words:

"You presume to tell me how _I_ feel?"

You also said I was being stupid, but that seemed irrelevant – you always thought I was being _stupid_.

"I don't '_presume'_" My voice a mockery of yours. I faltered for a moment, deciding that I didn't want to have this argument, but something made me want to lash out at you. "I'm telling the _truth_, something you ought to try for a while. What do you bloody _want_ from me anyway? You know, aside from humiliating me."

I heard my name escape your mouth again. A complete difference from what I had just spat harshly at you only seconds ago. The use of my name was a rational way to try and calm me and, as much as I disliked having to admit it, it worked like a bloody charm. Yeah, you had that effect...

"I do not lie, Mello..." A hint of annoyance plagued your voice. Your hands tightened by your sides as you took a few steps closer towards me. My instincts told me that I should back away, but I couldn't bring myself to move away from you. What was the worst that could happen..?

"Bull shit," I said slowly.

You were no more than a meter away. Your chest rose and fell slowly in a slow, rhythmic pattern – a clear sign that you were calm and untroubled. Your dark eyes were hard and focused, making it unbearable to look directly into them.

Until just now, I hadn't realised that it looked as if we were suddenly carrying each other's traits. It was unlike you to act in such a self-assured way that it had caught me off-guard and had begun to terrify me. Maybe _I_ was being a coward...

The tender clash between our contrasting gazes made my insides churn – I knew I was losing my focus. I stammered, unable to understand why your hands were extending towards my face. '_You're under my skin'..._ the thought made me conscious of how degraded I had become and I pulled you towards me. You stumbled forward as our lips crashed together. For a moment we both seemed unsure, knowing that what we were doing would be regarded as wrong and foolish. But, as our mouths persisted; our hands entwined through the other's hair and our bodies collapsed into each other without hesitation, we both knew that this is neither of those things. A _'mistake'_ it might have been, but for the time being I relished it. I never knew that I could enjoy being with you so much.

But I realised that no matter what anyone said, the uncertainty that I felt towards you would never change.

No, we can't feel this way.


End file.
